Acid Breath

So I was gargling with Listerine the other day, trying to suffer through the recommended 30-seconds-of-torture, thinking to myself, "Gosh, Self, it feels like I'm gargling with Acid."

Being the curious person I am, I had myself a look at the ingredients on the bottle.

Hmmm, ACTIVE INGREDIENTS: Thymol, Eucalyptol, Methyl Salicylate and Menthol. Okay, those all sound like alcohols and medicine, right? Okay... for now...

Then ALSO CONTAINS: ... Water (clearly), Alcohol (cool), Flavoring (okay, I'll take their word for it), Benzoic Acid... Wait, ACID? And it's under "Also Contains" and not "Active Ingredients"?? So it's not actually influential in the killing of germs or freshening of breath?!!

Okay, so truthfully, Benzoic Acid isn't that bad, it's just a preservative.

But now I'm curious again... let's go back and review the "active" ingredients:

Methyl Salicylate is just a Wintergreen tasting substance, fine.

Menthol: Menthol has local anesthetic and counterirritant qualities. It is contained in nonprescription products for short-term relief of minor sore throat and minor mouth or throat irritation.

Um... Why do we need anesthetic and counterirritant in Mouthwash? That leads us to the next two ingredients.

Thymol: harmful if swallowed, inhaled or absorbed through the skin. It is an eye, skin and respiratory irritant. Boy, good thing we're putting this in our mouths and gargling with it.

But this is by far my favorite:
Eucalyptol: A volatile, terpenelike oil which is the main constituent of the oil of eucalyptus. It has cockroach repellent activity and is used as a flavoring aid in pharmaceuticals.

Well, I guess if I'm now scared of putting the stuff in my mouth, maybe Jen and I can pour the rest of the bottle around our apartment. Then at least, we'd repel the roaches and our mice would have fresh breath.